I started the diet 3 days ago and I thought it might be a good idea to chart my progress on here, both as a record for myself but it also might be of interest to others.

A bit of background first: I've been with my partner for 2 years this May and seem to have a fairly low sex drive. When we first met we were having sex all the time, but although I found him attractive, there was definitely something lacking in terms of my enjoyment. My sex drive has lessened gradually now the 'honeymoon period' is over, and although there are times I want sex, it's rarely mind blowing and often disappointing and quite boring, which is very frustrating. We're happy in every other way, but my lack of desire is causing some problems, as I'm envious of how much he enjoys sex, and he's upset that he can't satisfy me.

Before I discovered the Orgasmic Diet, I put the problem down to various things. I went on the birth control pill soon after we met and felt that it was stopping me wanting and enjoying sex. I tried changing brands and 2 months ago I came off the pill entirely but it didn't help. It put doubts in my mind about whether or not my partner is the right one for me, which has been very upsetting. I find him physically attractive, we're good friends and very affectionate and love each other, but my lack of desire to have sex caused me to think that maybe he's not the right one. My logic was that if I fancy him, I should want to have sex with him! After discovering this forum and Marrena's book, it was such a relief to find out that there were other women in the same boat and maybe it was down to my diet, rather than my relationship.

I loved sex as a teenager and in my early-mid 20s (I'm 31 now), and often had the 'tiger in my tank' as Marrena talks about in her book! I enjoyed sex very much and had lots of orgasms, so it's not normal for me to have no sex drive. I thought I had a healthy diet (low fat, semi-vegetarian, lots of starchy carbs. plus fruit and vegetables) but after reading the book, I realised that, while it may be healthy, it's certainly not making me orgasmic - I was basically doing everything I shouldn't!

So I've now been following Marrena's guidelines fairly strictly for 3 days. I've cut right back on the starchy carbs (still having them but in moderation and trying to avoid them on the days I'm likely to have sex), increased my consumption of fish, meat and fats (dairy and olive oil), and eating more vegetables too. I'm also having the chocolate each day (that's my favourite part!), and trying to just have one coffee in the morning before work (I love my coffee so don't want to give it up unless I have to. I figure if I do everything else correctly it should be ok). Plus I'm taking the supplements - the multivitamin (which includes the RDA of zinc and iron), calcium/magnesium supplement (which has slightly less calcium than the RDA but as I'm having plenty of milk and cheese that should make up for it),and the fish oil too. I was too impatient to start with a lower dose so I'm having the amount recommended for a 130lb woman (I'm around 122lb). I've found there aren't too many negative side effects - I've had the odd fishy burb, plus it's given me increased wind and I'm going to the toilet more than usual, but nothing too unpleasant.

And I've been very pleasantly surprised! I know it's supposed to take at least 2 weeks, and it could just be psychological, but it seems to be working already! I certainly feel good in myself, and definitely feel 'lighter' (I think that's the effect of the fish oil and cutting back on the starchy carbs). But the thing that has surprised me the most has been the effect on my sex drive. I spent the day with my partner yesterday and after going out for a meal, we went back to his place and started kissing, and it was really passionate - I was almost 'hungry' for him, if that makes sense! I noticed increased sensation when he touched me and although I didn't have an orgasm (which I mainly put down to 4 glasses of gin and tonic earlier in the day!), I enjoyed it so much more than I have for a while. I don't know if it's possible for the diet to work so quickly (what do you think Marrena?) or whether it's because I'm thinking about sex more and it's been a relief to get things off my chest and discuss it with my partner, but it's certainly made me optimistic for what lies ahead!

Men on the diet usually respond within a week, some within two or three days. The reason I say a month is to allow for variations in a woman's menstrual cycle (that also affect libido).

Also, if the hormones need tweaking it takes a little longer than if it's just a neurotransmitter issue.

On the other hand, could the gin and tonics have had something to do with it? Sometimes if there is a psychological block, the disinhibiting effect of alcohol can help with desire, although as you say it interferes with orgasm.

Please continue to post--if it continues then we know it's the diet.

It could have been the gin, coupled with the fact we had a bit of a heart to heart about it; these may have made me feel more relaxed. But we often have a drink together and sometimes I find the sensation is less - although I'm less inhibited and sex can be more fun after a drink, I often don't feel as much as I do when I'm sober.

Anyway, I'll definitely keep on with it and let you know.

Then I'm thinking it's the diet--you must have had good timing with your cycle.

I certainly hope so! It seems promising so far. I'm not even asking that much, I don't really mind if I don't get to the level you're at. All I want is to have a normal sex drive and to enjoy sex with my lovely partner.

I'm fed up today I saw my partner last night and just didn't feel like sex at all. I thought I'd give it a go anyway, to see if I enjoyed it but I didn't. I was bored and wanted it to end. I felt so sorry for my partner, as I'm sure he must have sensed something was up.

I know I've only been doing the diet for a week and it's too early for it to make a difference, but I'm so worried it won't work for me. When I read about Marrena having all these spontaneous orgasms, I feel like I'll never get anywhere near that - at the moment, I don't feel like I'll ever enjoy sex again. It feels like this is my last hope, and if it doesn't work, my relationship has got no future. I'm also worried about putting on weight, since I've increased my fat intake. I feel like my tummy has got bigger since I started.

Marrena (and other members of the forum), I'd really appreciate some words of encouragment if you have them. And I was wondering if I could read some of the testimonials from people who have had experience of the diet. I've read all the ones in your book and on this site, plus the magazine and newspaper reviews, but would love to hear more opinions. I think it might help me keep my hopes up that it will work.

Please don't get so fed up so fast! I have been on the diet for almost three weeks and noticed an improvement. I have orgasms more quickly and think about sex very often. I can't wait for my fiancee to get home. As for the weight gain, you just have to cut out in other places. I'm also very conscientious about that. I work out regularly and am trying to lose 10 pounds so it is a juggle...but worth it!

If I'm right, and several days ago when you were feeling the fish oil you happened to be ovulating, then at this point in time your sex drive will be very low. Even I have a couple days right after ovulation every month where I have no libido. We are female mammals--it's part of the menstrual cycle to have fluctuations in libido. Don't judge the diet by one day, judge it over a whole month, that's the fair way to do it.

There are lots of testimonials of the diet over at the bermansexualhealth.com messageboard, but they are mixed in with the rest of the board postings. I don't really keep track too much.

I also have positive feedback at other boards too, but that's a good place to start.

Thank you both for your words of encouragement

I know it's still too soon to see an effect, I was just so hopeful when I thought I could see a difference. Marrena, I wasn't ovulating then (it was only just after my period; I think I probably am now though) so maybe it was the gin after all

Anyway, I'm continuing with the diet and feel like it's going pretty well. I don't notice a difference in libido but I do feel well! My skin and hair look nice (though you were right about not being able to skip washing it!) and I'm in a good mood generally. I was very worried about putting on weight but amazingly I haven't! I've been eating more fat and having the chocolate every day and I was convinced I was getting bigger, but when I got weighed at my class yesterday I'd stayed the same! Considering I was away over the weekend and eating/drinking too much, staying the same is really good. I'm also surprised at how well protein and fat fill you up! I used to fill up on carbs but be hungry again a few hours later, but now I feel less bloated and satisfied for longer. I think there might be something in it when people say we shouldn't be afraid of fat - it does have more calories weight for weight, but it seems to keep me fuller for longer (and it tastes good too!). In fact, after years of sticking to a high carb, low meat/fat diet, it's so nice to have a change!

Marrena, thank you for pointing me towards the Berman site - it's a great site and I've been reading it with interest for the last few days. I can't believe how many women have the same problem as me - I would never have imagined lack of libido was so common (and I never thought it would happen to me). It's made me realise that I need to have a proper discussion with my partner and that we need to sort it out together, rather than me just hinting that I don't fancy sex as much and him not telling me how it makes him feel. He's not the best communicator so it might be difficult, but it's definitely something we need to do. And I need to be able to tell him what I want/need in bed too - again, I've hinted at this but I'm not very good at asking him directly.

Another reason I'm glad I looked at that site is that there are posts on there from men whose wives won't have sex with them. They talk about feeling rejected and 'starved'. It never occurred to me that my partner's need to have sex is as important to him as eating and sleeping. It's made me think carefully about how I approach the subject and helped me see things from his perspective.

Of course, all this will be irrelevant in a few weeks when Marrena's diet kicks in and I'm gagging for it!

Yes, the Berman site has a more complete picture of female sexuality. I just look at physiology. That's a big part, but it's only a part.

Please continue to post and let me know how it goes!

I saw my partner last night and we talked about it. He did agree it was a problem we should share, and admitted he'd been a bit lazy in bed and not concentrated enough on making sure we were both turned on. I suggested we both write down stuff we'd like to do and try them, so we're going to do that soon. I asked him how he felt when I didn't want sex with him, and luckily he said he doesn't take it personally, but it did piss him off a bit. He also said that never having sex was preferable to only having it occasionally, as the more he has it, the more he wants it! He said it's ok if we have sex less often but I explained that's not what I want, I just want us to be able to talk about it, and for him to spend longer on foreplay without me worrying he's getting bored or impatient. And for me to be able to say no if I really don't feel like it, and for him to be ok about that.

Needless to say, the sex we had last night was a definite improvement! I was a bit tipsy from half a bottle of wine, but I enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to seeing how things go in the next few weeks!

Please do keep posting on how it goes.

Talking is always good. I focus on physiology, but of course openness and intimacy are important too.

I do think the diet is having an effect

It's been 2 weeks since I began. I had sex with my partner on the weekend and I felt much hornier than I've done in a long time - it's honestly been MONTHS since I felt that horny. I can't be certain if it's all down to the diet because I'd had a fair bit to drink beforehand (we'd been out to a club) plus I'm right in the middle of my cycle. Having said that, there have been many times recently that we've had a drink and had sex in the middle of my cycle, and it didn't feel like that!

Unfortunately I had to take the morning after pill today, which has made me tired and will probably mess up my libido for a few days until the hormones get out of my system. But I'm really feeling positive about things, and it's helping me to stop worrying about my relationship. Which is great!

That's great news! Stick with it and keep me updated.

It's been just over a month since I started the diet. I haven't noticed a huge difference but I've had sex twice this week and both times it felt better than usual. The first time was a morning after a night of drinking, so that's not so unusual, but last night was more unusual. Normally when I see my partner during the week, I'm tired and want to go to sleep straight away when we go to bed. Not last night though!

I've also been doing the South Beach Diet for 2 weeks, so have completely been avoiding bread/pasta/rice etc, and I think this may have contributed. Whatever it's down to, things seem to be moving in the right direction (still need to buy a Gyneflex though, that's next on my list).

The only spanner in the works now is that I'm back on the birth control pill. I went to my local family planning clinic to ask about the diaphragm, but the doctor explained that they're not that reliable, and if I really didn't want to get pregnant, it wasn't the best method. I don't want to get a coil fitted and neither me or my partner like using condoms, so it was all that was left. I've been put on the mini-pill which is a much lower dose - it has 30 micrograms of synthetic progesterone, in comparison with the combined pill, which has 150 micrograms of progesterone and 30 of eostrogen. I'm hoping I don't get any side effects, but will have to see.