Hello there,

My story: Since four months I got a new pill from my doctor. My previous one caused me to be Sahara-dry and when I had sex I had to use lots and lots of lubrication from the drugstore and even then it hurt.

It sort of killed my sex life. Boyfriend doesn't like that he must hurt me to get some and he also doesn't really like my response when he is in the mood. ('Shall we have sex?' 'Do we really need to? Sight. Oh-kay then.')

'Sex-life' is actually a joke. I'm 20 years old, he is my first sexpartner ever and in the 1,5 years that we actually had sex I didn't like it. As a teenager I masturbated like every single day, fantasizing how much better actual sex must be! As you can imagine, I was extremely disappointed. No one had told me many women couldn't get an orgasm simply from being penetrated by a man. Of course I heard man joking sometimes about woman who always had 'headakes'.I never thought I could become one of them, I had a mental sexdrive up to the roof. Yeah. Until I actually had sex.

[i]I felt incompetent. Incomplete as a women and a girlfriend. These were supposed to be THE years, THE time of my life, right? It made me very sad so I desperately wanted to do something about it. I read many books. You know, the 'take a bubble bath' approach, the 'Its all in your head' approach, the 'woman on top' approach, I bought the kama sutra, games to get in the mood, erotic oils, sexy lingery and tiny dresses, hot lubrication that promised an orgasm (it burned- OUCH) even latex bedlinnen to go and massage without making a mess in the hope that I would start to enjoy sex as much as my boyfriend seemed to like it. Nothing actually wor- ERROR! something got lost here

FOR NON-LIBIDOKILLER-PILL-THEORY SEE MY NEXT POST

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Hollie Holland,

It seems like half of your post is missing.

I can say one thing about what you did post, however. Study after study shows that women don't really hit their sexual prime until their thirties. So when you say, "These were supposed to be THE years, THE time of my life, right?"--that's not the case.

The best thing for sexual satisfaction that you can do with your first boyfriend is find someone very skilled and enthusiastic about giving you manual and oral clitoral stimulation. Most boys don't understand the importance of clitoral stimulation. Speak up for yourself and insist he give you an orgasm before penetration.

It takes a while before penetration starts to feel good for most women.

Thank you for replying so soon!! And yes, half my post is indeed missing... weird.

I wanted to ask about the possibility of a pill that doesn't kill libido. In traditional pills they use Levonorgestrel as one of the two fake hormones, or at least in my old pill. I got another one because I had gotten extremely dry. No lubrication at all and that just hurts during sex.

So I got a pill from the latest generation. Its called 'Yasmin' from Schering pharmacy and instead of levonorgestrel it contains 3,00mg of dospirenone. It claims to reduce acne, maintain or lower weight, less or no PMS and, here it comes, it doesn't interfere with libido. Here's a little quote from Wikipedia;

Drospirenone is taken orally with about 76% bioavailability. It is bound not by sex hormone binding globulin or corticosteroid binding globulin, but by other serum proteins. Metabolites have not been shown to be biologically active, show up in urine and feces, and are essentially completely excreted within 10 days.

And I have to say... my lubrication got back to the level I had before I went on the Microgynon 30 pill

So... does that mean that I can stay on the pill AND follow your diet completely/have a super sex life?(I really do want the best birthcontrol available, I'm still in college and not quite ready to marry )

I'm curious! That would be great for lots of women, no?

Well that would be great if the pharmaceutical company wasn't lying.

http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/84/98116.htm

webmd.com is a reputable source.

"Yasmin has some unique properties that make it attractive to many pill users; however, it is the most antiandrogenic pill. This is because the progestin, which you have referred to, does have an antitestosterone effect. This has not been formally studied; however, we see in our practice people taking Yasmin have a higher incidence of lower libido because of this antitestosterone effect."

Wauw, this is the first time anybody tells me that and I feel quit dissapointed in both my doctor and the pharma industies. I really didn't see that one coming.

I'm on Yasmin for 3 and a half months now and indeed, my lubrication came back and I thought I felt more playfull. But during sex I still felt very little pleasure and it still hurts and gets irritated down there when were busy for only 4 minutes or so. I just thought I needed to give the Yasmin pill more time...

Now I'm seriously considering quitting the pills. What is the point of birthcontrol if you do'n't have sex anyway!? Besides, I had trouble from the beginning I took hormonal birth control and it doesn't seem to end. If it doesn't work out with my period (I took the pills not for birthcontrol only but also because of my heavy periods), I can start anytime again. I was wondering about the best non-hormonal birthcontrol solution.

I stumbled upon this device http://www.ladycomp.com/ in the Pearl-Index. It is tested to have a Pearl-Index failure rate of only 0,7!

I was wondering, since were mythbusting anyway , can that possibly be correct? The temperature method doesn't have a very good reputation...

Anyway if you happen to know something about the Ladycomp/Babycomp, please tell me.

What would you advice as the very best non-hormonal birthcontrol (besides nog having sex )? I really really really don't want to get pregnant (yet).

Thanks a lot for al your help! I appreciate it very much!

I actually found something on the LadyComp already! The 0,7 represent the 6 pregnancies that occured while the light was green. The other 23 pregnancies (Which would higher the rate to 3.8) occured because of incorrect use. And the Mexican women are left out that rate for convenience...

“This means that the following calculation can be made: 39x 1200: 10 601 = 4.4; if the Mexicans are excluded, we have the following calculation: 33 x 1200:10 275 = 3.8.The Pearl Index for pregnancies occurring on "red" and "green" days in this survey amounts to 3.8 for the Europeans.

2.3.2. Usag safety and method reliability
Unplanned pregnancies can be divided into two categories, depending on their genesis: An unintended conception can either occur when correctly adhering to the rules of the method, i.e. observing abstinence during the days identified as "fertile" (= red) and "uncertain" (= yellow), or when not adhering to the rules by having unprotected coitus during the time identified by the device as being "fertile".
Correspondingly, we talk of user reliability.

This takes into account all unintended pregnancies and therefore reflects the everyday efficiency of a method. For the Germans and Swiss in the present study, this corresponds to a Pearl Index of 3.8 in the period under observation (see above calculation).This is distinguished from the method reliability. Only those pregnancies which occurred when green was displayed are take into account here.

If the women had not entered the information on the questionnaire, telephone enquiries made it possible to ascertain that 6 of the 33 unplanned pregnancies in Europe could be traced to method errors and 27 to user errors. This means that for method reliability, a Pearl Index can be calculated of 6 x 1200:10 275 = 0.7. 275 = 0.7.”

Source; http://www.raxmedical.com/tests6.php

Speaking of non-hormonal birth control, I wanted to make sure we ladies don't forget about the ol' faithful, and quite effective, CONDOM!

The last time I went in for a birth control consult, the doctor gave me a chart of the various birth control methods and their effectiveness, and right there among the front-runners is condoms at 98%!

Here is a stat you will find pretty consistently about condoms: "The breakage rate for condoms is two out of 100. Of every 100 couples who use condoms incorrectly and inconsistently, 15 will experience a pregnancy during the first year of use. Of every 100 couples who use condoms correctly and consistently, only two will experience a pregnancy."

What ... all we have to do is use a condom CORRECTLY and CONSISTENTLY for it to be 98% effective. Why is this not more widely known? PLUS, bonus time, it also protects against transmission of many STDs! I think we have a winner here, especially if you pair it with the "natural" female cycle" method.

Just something more to think about!

Well yeah, I learned that 2% rate when I was like 13. I saw the Pearl-Index many times in highschool. I got exams about birth control. Its well-known here.

But I'm pretty freaked out about not getting pregnant and 2-15% does not quit sound 'no worries, you won't get pregnant'. Actually I would worry my brains out every single day. I already took two pregnancytests over my 1,5 years using the pill just to clear things up in my head. (Alrighdy, I'm pretty paranoid. )

And I know condoms, I make sure my boyfriend wears them. I'm the kind of girl who preferes to go 'Double Dutch' . Taking pills AND use a condom. I don't trust birthcontrolpills as the only method enough to prevent me from having to deal with an unwanted pregnancy. And I'm not exactly alone in this. This is what 18% of the sexualy active Dutch girls/women use as their standard method of birth control.

A few years ago a friend of mine told me she didn't want to use birthcontrol pills just yet because she had a casual relationship. She and her lover used a condom. I told her she was crazy to use only a condom and she should go Roadrunner-miep-miep-vroooooom to a doctor and get birthcontrolpills.

She went to the doctor. Later. After she had been vomiting her stomac out for over a month. He told her she was pregnant. Surprise, surprise . She called me and said; "But we used the Durex Topsafe condoms! And nothing ever went wrong"

By the way, she got into a use fight with 'casual lover' and now they can not stand each other. Oh, and they are the parents of a lovely little boy.

If I would use a condom after quitting birth control pills, I would use it with a Fem Cap ánd spermacide. (And still not feel safe, but it would be better than a condom alone)

I'm not a doctor and not qualified to give medical advice on prescription drugs, aside from the general quoting of studies I do in my book and here. I don't want to make a recommendation, although you might want to check out the failure rates of condom + diaphragm (or cervical cap).

No question the whole birth control issue is a challenge! It's just so disappointing that for so many women, once we start taking the pill, we lose our desire for sex. And when we're off the pill (or other hormonal device), we desire sex, but face increased risk of pregnancy. What a system!

quote:

Originally posted by September:
...It's just so disappointing that for so many women, once we start taking the pill, we lose our desire for sex...

You're right and thats what bothers me. The risks of birthcontrolpills besides the well-known deadly deseases are denied. All doctors say "Oh, you take pills and all of a sudden your libido is gone? Well, you might want to check with a psychiatrist!" or when I told a very nice female doctor about the pain I had during sex she told me that I probably didn't relax enough.

I felt like a total idiot, an A-sexual, an Ice-Queen, an underdevelopt or damaged women, I even thought it was all just my fault that I couldn't enjoy sex, that I had to be psycologically ill! The Orgasmic diet was an Eye-opener. I already recommended it to a friend of mine (also pill, also no sexdrive) who started to think the female orgasm had to be a fairy tale.

Yeah, I'm sort of thinking about a Ladycomp+condom+FemCap or cervical cap+ spermicide combo. That should do it

I'm quitting hormonal birthcontrol in a week (I red somewhere it could be dangerous to just quit in the middle of the strip) and then we'll see what happens. I'm very curious and I'm certainly going to take this Orgasmic Diet all the way! If it works, its all worth it.