Hi,

I'm in my early 20's, a virgin (hard to believe but we do exist, haha), very low libido to begin with, in a long-distance relationship (so playtime is limited), on birth-control pill and also prescribed antidepressants, and doing a very rigorous undergrad program which stresses me 24/7. ie. all the things I shouldn't be doing!!

I'm wondering if a higher libido will help me deal better with discomfort when my partner and I are intimate... I have never even been able to insert a tampon.

Also, do higher levels of testoesterone decrease the efficiency of birth control, or will it cause other side-effects such as superfluous hair, acne and larger muscles? My genes already call for these, and I'd like to have the libido of a man - not look like one.

Thanks!

My diet doesn't increase total testosterone very much, it only helps your body utilize the testosterone it already has better, by lowering SHBG. There's nothing in my diet that would cause the body to go over the normal range in producing total testosterone.

As for tightness, you can stretch yourself out on your own somewhat. You can buy dilators, or you can create makeshift ones at home (using carrots of the correct width and condoms). However, if you are having trouble with a tampon you should start stretching using a finger and lube.

As you are a virgin in a long-distance relationship, I assume you are on hormonal birth control for a medical condition.

Dear Marrena, thank you for your sound advice and prompt reply.

I started on birth control when my partner and I still lived close to one another (just in case) and have continued it out of habit.

I suppose it's unusual for someone complaining about being too tight; most women I talk to would like as tight a fit as possible!

I've recommended your diet to a friend of mine, but she has some metabolic issues and was wondering: would pure cocoa powder have the same effect as the dark chocolate if one cannot consume much sugar, or does the way the dark chocolate is processed make it more effective?

By all means, stop taking hormonal birth control if there is no reason to take it!

Virgins commonly have a problem with being too tight, that's perfectly normal. Take charge so that you will be able to enjoy yourself when the time comes.

I occasionally eat bakers' chocolate. Works just fine, although the taste is very bitter, not all women can eat that.