It's with a heavy heart that I report to you that our sweet Zaneblue has joined an outlaw biker gang named "Satan's Little Helpers" and I must confess I never saw it coming.
Sure, I thought it was odd when she started tampering with the exhaust on her Harley Shovelhead, and then letting her armpit hair grow out. There were other things, small things like smoking two cigarettes at the same time, throwing beer bottles over her shoulder and belching, then ordering me to pull her finger.
I should have known something was up when she stopped painting her toenails.
She has been hanging out in the evenings with her grease-laden cronies at a grizzled truckstop on Interstate 10 outside of Phoenix, a place called EAT in sizzling red neon. Not hard to find if you know what you're looking for.
I'm not sure of the nature of their cuisine but I saw a hand painted cardboard sign reading LARGE MARGE SEZ : " Pigs in a blanket--not just for breakfast anymore."
I certainly know the lure of V twin vibrations...the tart petrol fumes can be intoxicating as you thunder along a scenic route and listen to that renowned brassy rumble echoing off sandy dunes and quaint purple hills with the force of a physical blow. You only friend is an odd brew of spent road tar heat, choking dust and pale visions...and the faint musk of roadside cacti as they await another daybreak like the lonely sentinels they will always be.
BTW she wants to be referred to as Hellbent for Zane from this day forward.
Not since the Hindenburg (the Titanic of the sky) has such a callous affront assaulted the masses. And I believe it's too late for prayers but please don't quote me.
If you know anyone who can help, get in touch with large Marge ASAP.

Silly man, I've just been finishing up the first draft edits of the book. And of course having lots of orgasms.

I used to have a motorcycle, back in the day. But after you have kids, things change.

Congrats on the book progress.
But what about the lowdown on the Minami fish oil, Zane?
I looked it up on the web and all I got was Austin Powers references. (har har)
Is the price worth it?

It's good stuff. Although I am miffed--once again I'm hit with lots of foot-dragging on the study funding. Will someone please give me $100,000?

I interviewed with the Sydney Morning Herald today. It will be interesting to see what they write.

Why is it so important for people to know whom I'm boinking! Isn't it enough that I've discovered something that makes women want to boink? Go on my diet for a month and then you'll be too busy boinking to care about other people's boinking habits. Reporters.

Don't forget that there's no such thing as bad publicity. The baroness of boink should know this.
Some Aussie investor may be calling you to travel down under soon to plunk a shrimp on the barby and offer you funding. Just beware the skippys and bring me back a Foster's.

My mom is making copies of the Sydney Morning Herald article and she says she's going to show it to all the little old ladies where she works, and all our relatives.

Okay then. What I'm doing is embarrassing but important. It's important to get the word out to women that the diet works.