That was easier than I thought it would be. I guess spending the last four years incessantly talking about my diet online has had an effect. The book is still short, but I expect I will have more to say when I get feedback from my editor. And of course I am getting lots of feedback from women to put in the book--thank you ladies!

Kind of funny this happening right when the bottom dropped out of my world. Not in a bad way, just a severely disorienting way. Even before I started my diet, it was the idea of a man out there who would like the sort of woman I have now become that led me to instinctively choose my diet, to explore the why and how of my new abilities, to embrace my diet and my libido. A male reassurance, if you will. I just needed the idea of one man, smiling at me at the other end of this very public tightrope I'm walking. The idea of that man has shimmered into mist and disappeared.

Congratulations! YOur work is so important.

I'm delighted to hear that you are progressing with your project, Zane. I've missed your advice over the last many months.

Hope I waited long enought to say HI so as not be a negative. . .

It was just the psychological weight of the men there that got to me. I couldn't help them.

Are you in a better place?

Also for me, to be honest I really do now like cul de sac orgasms. I'm pretty unusual in that regard, at least the extreme frequency. So I do have a preference now, although of course it doesn't take much to reach it.

Also I'm very active at thunder's place, not because of the size thing but because they are so sciencey there and will try anything. Crazy guinea pigs. Speaking of which, be careful with that concoction you are taking!

It was just the psychological weight of the men there that got to me. I couldn't help them.

[ANS] Yeah, there are some more women there now finding the same problem. Everyone still reads and discusses your posts and many noobies (women esp.) want to find you and get you to come back. . . --Lloyd

Are you in a better place?

[ANS] Actually, I wasn't in such a bad place. . . I have felt trememdously better ever since I started the testosterone treatment. If I wasn't married and loyal, I'd probably be "too sexually active" with my really "new" mental state, natural assertiveness.

Perhaps unfairly, I was using the site in lieu of psychological "therapy"; reviewing all the negatives feelings I'd repressed over my 60 years. It was great to be able to express negative feelings (formerly "too devastating" to handle) without having to lie to myself, pretend, etc. Now I can handle negatives about myself in stride. As I said, unfair to other people...

Of course, in spite of my low T, I had been married twice and very sexually active most of the time (once I finally physically matured!). I was never a "lost soul" like some difficult cases on the list. -- Lloyd

Also for me, to be honest I really do now like cul de sac orgasms. I'm pretty unusual in that regard, at least the extreme frequency. So I do have a preference now, although of course it doesn't take much to reach it.

[ANS] In a different life it would be interesting to study that with you! Well, even in this life for purely scientific purposes. . . --Lloyd

Also I'm very active at thunder's place, not because of the size thing but because they are so sciencey there and will try anything. Crazy guinea pigs. Speaking of which, be careful with that concoction you are taking!

[ANS] Really? I assumed that's just another fraud "enlargement" site. . . peeked there long ago. Do you really believe there is any validity to their enlargement techniques? My theory is that excercises, etc. just make what a guy has work to its full potential. "Growth", I think is a myth; but a stronger erection means bigger esp. for guys on the large side to begin with who have trouble getting rock hard.

I have taken my concoction for many years now. . . so it doesn't worry me. I also continue to get periodic blood work at the Life Extension Foundation. Actually, I take my concoction for the mental state. . . I can't really say that it makes my erections or sexual performance much different.

I guess it's just that I am all about physiology, about bodies. The men there needed psychological help, at least some of them, and I got frustrated because I'm only good at physical things. If people have questions, particularly women, send them on over here.

Lloyd, I've gotten in plenty of "scientific" experimentation testing my abilities in the bedroom. I orgasm on initial penetration and keep going like clockwork every half minute or so, irrespective of partner. And believe me, I've got plenty more chances to do further testing. Men trail me around like I'm

Well anyhow, I don't know why on earth that is, particularly considering my appearance, I guess because I am giving off sexual signals. And that's with men who don't know about me. With men who do know about my abilities, there is in addition a huge curiosity factor; everyone wants to take a test drive.

It's just going to get weirder with the book and the media. Just as well that I stick to tantric celibacy.

Thunder's place is completely legit. The men there do in fact add inches to their penises. They spend like an hour a day or more doing it, which I think is completely nuts, but then again lots of people think I'm crazy. On the other hand I think it makes more sense to work at having continuous orgasms, which at least provide intense pleasure, rather than adding a couple inches to your cock, which could only be for show and/or bringing pleasure to someone else. Call me self-centered.

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Lloyd, I've gotten in plenty of "scientific" experimentation testing my abilities in the bedroom. I orgasm on initial penetration and keep going like clockwork every half minute or so, irrespective of partner. And believe me, I've got plenty more chances to do further testing. Men trail me around like I'm. . . .Well anyhow, I don't know why on earth that is, particularly considering my appearance, I guess because I am giving off sexual signals. And that's with men who don't know about me. With men who do know about my abilities, there is in addition a huge curiosity factor; everyone wants to take a test drive.

Dang, I'm not unique?!

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It's just going to get weirder with the book and the media. Just as well that I stick to tantric celibacy.

Yeah, I can't wait for what Jay Leno says. . . what he said to Ann Coulter was pretty funny!

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Thunder's place is completely legit. The men there do in fact add inches to their penises. They spend like an hour a day or more doing it, which I think is completely nuts, but then again lots of people think I'm crazy.

Of course, I never put-in that kind of time. . . more like 15 minutes per day for 4 months. Kept it puffed-up a little and less "retracting/shriveling" but no growth (also a bit sore and surface blood vessel bursting). I'm very dubious about growth. No scientific evidence that stretching causes growth. . . should be provable if stretching causes growth. But a hard erection could certainly add inches to the "big" ones. A lot of big guys complain about less than rock hard erections. Probably a lot of their "spongy" tissue is not fully stretched and opened up for filling with blood. Oh well, one those mysteries I probably will never know for sure.

Lloyd, even at the other website you didn't notice the male attention? Even some of the gay men wanted to have sex with me. Now that I know was simple curiosity.

I think that's part of the reason I have gained so much weight, to take myself out of the running for a bit to decide what I wanted to do.

Jay Leno already joked about my diet, oddly enough.

I just want more women to do the diet so women like me are commonplace.

I am quite certain the men at Thunder's are doing more than strengthening erections. They are adding definite length and girth; I've seen too many pictures before and after with rulers to doubt. Check it out for yourself and see what you think.

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Lloyd, even at the other website you didn't notice the male attention? Even some of the gay men wanted to have sex with me. Now that I know was simple curiosity.

I think that's part of the reason I have gained so much weight, to take myself out of the running for a bit to decide what I wanted to do.

I know everyone liked you, but I don't recall the sexual attention except in my mind! I suppose most of the guys contacted you privately, not in open forum where I would notice. Here I thought it was just an intellectual thing that everyone like you! Your "treatise" on female sexual response is still discussed often.

Yeah, your picture does look like you gained some weight. I wondered if the old picture was just from an earlier time frame. Don't gain weight for psychological or interpresonal reasons! Not healthy! Some of those "ahem" larger guys like big women anyway!!! Hey, there's a lot of calories in fish oil!

Yes, I have found that out. It's been West African men who have been trailing me around. It's been very liberating and rather silly getting naked in front of men at by far my fattest size and seeing the obvious and immediate signs of their appreciation of my body. And Lloyd, I've never said I prefer small ones, although some women do. I like all sizes.

But yes, men in general do appreciate me both for my abilities and for helping them. I frequently get pictures and the occasional video showing the results of the diet. And I'm not complaining!

But it is very disorienting, especially with me being a typical suburban mom.

My old picture is just about four years old; I've put on all this weight since then--divorce and everything, also again not really sure how to handle the male attention.

Fish oil doesn't have any more calories than any other fat, and I'm only taking a couple teaspoons a day, that's only 70 calories (the brand I take is ultra-refined).

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I just want more women to do the diet so women like me are commonplace.

This may be contrary to something in human nature; or at least contrary to the nature of many women (obviously not all). I know a big part of the bond between me and both of my wives was that both had elusive sexual responses (one more than the other) that came to the fore only with profound trust in what they saw as a very special relationship. Both had their guard up against male aggression and had great difficulty responding to routine sexual advances common since the "sexual revolution". Maybe not human nature, but a function of abusive fathers and families. Perhaps, my "low T" personality just attracts these types because I'm seen as non-threatening.

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I am quite certain the men at Thunder's are doing more than strengthening erections. They are adding definite length and girth; I've seen too many pictures before and after with rulers to doubt. Check it out for yourself and see what you think.

I tried to join, but it was after 12:00 thus SUNDAY! You can only register on certain days of the week there. That is weird.

When I first started coming to grips with male size issues and admitted my bad feelings about it, I REALLY WANTED enlargement to work. Thus, I was REALLY disappointed when 4 months of dilligent work made absolutely no difference. Perhaps my "anti" judgement was too harsh and a bit irrational.

Who know, there may be a range of penile physiologies and only some physiologies are compatible with enlargement techniques. An interesting thought: Contortionists have been found to have remarkably DIFFERENT tendons and ligaments. MUCH MORE ELASTIC and practice results in permanent changes! {Have you ever seen porno of contortionists?. . . amazing! My favorite was a beautiful woman who could arch her back such that her female parts were just above her head with butt actually resting on the top of her head. . . the guy could alternate orifices. . . woops... (an aside!).} I know that my tendons and ligaments are extremely stiff and tight. I could never get anywhere with stretching exercises in sports like wrestling (or Yoga) and had great difficulty with being an infielder in baseball because of my stiff legged approach to everything. So also is my penile tendon or ligament extremely inelastic and tight. And it retracts with great force and power (there must be a muscle attached to it, but I see none mentioned in physiology books. . . especially when I do heavy work. . . Perhaps extreme (an unwise) force would have to be used to lengthen it or make it more elastic. . . or maybe it cannot be more elastic.

I recently went to Eithiopia to meet my step daughter's new husband who is in the State Department. He took many jeep tours "roughing it" into the primitive interior, tribal areas. Many of the tribes there distort their lips, ears, noses, etc. with inserts, stretching these items into unimaginable shapes.

He had flaccid pictures of one tribe that stretches their penises to unimaginable lengths (secret techniques they learn upon initiation as males). Flaccid they hund well below the knees and didn't look like they had lost thickness either. He admitted he wondered if these monsters actually were functional.

He was assured by guides from other tribes that they were still perfectly functional, but obviously wasn't about to ask for a demostration. These men, always carried special "ritual knives" with which they remove the genitals of their slain enemies as trophies in tribal war! They used to fight with spears, bows, and knives, but now use AK-47s.

I can now see that I had psychological resistance to applying this knowledge outside of the context in which I heard it.

Lloyd, if you don't mind I'd rather not concentrate too much on penis enlargement on this website, or for that matter contortionist porn. I don't want to scare women away, this particular forum I want to focus on women.

Join over there, believe me a post like that would generate a thread a mile long. Those men have an inexhaustible interest in discussing penis-lengthening techniques and examples.

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I don't want to scare women away, this particular forum I want to focus on women.

Yeah, feel free to delete it. I made a copy and will transfer it to Thunder's if they ever let me in. . .

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But it is very disorienting, especially with me being a typical suburban mom.

and. . .

I orgasm on initial penetration and keep going like clockwork every half minute or so, irrespective of partner. And believe me, I've got plenty more chances to do further testing.

and. . .

I just want more women to do the diet so women like me are commonplace.

I have been thinking about the psychological aspects of these statements. My post got bogged down in my personal history. It does seem to me that with "withholding" orgasm is a common psychology among women. Even if they have given in to the sex act, it seems, they often don't want to reward the man by orgasm because he may no "deserve that" yet; or hasn't worked hard enough for it; hasn't proven his respect and loyalty, etc. I have certainly been with women when they were trying to orgasm (usually unsucessfuly I might add).

Or is this perception just in me and men like me? Are most women even trying or open to orgasm during sex? I certainly see the pontential for this idea to be "in my head" and not really out there in reality.

Another possibility, of course, is that, by all accounts, many women find having an orgasm difficult period. They may be afraid to let the man know during sex since he would find it upsetting, distracting, "a job", a criticism, etc. and spoil the moment for him. Maybe viewing the woman as purposely "withholding" orgasm is simply wrong in most cases. Or perhaps some women would rather think they are withholding orgasm than admit they always have problems orgasming. . . hmmm! Now I AM confused!