Hi Mereana,
I had an important question and it might be of help to other. I have not had an orgasm in about ten years. The really embarrassing part is that I was 11 when I got my first clitoral orgasm. I use to pile pillows on top and sit on them while rubbing back and forth. After a wile this got boring and I eventually got away from doing it. Well I have tried it again and I no longer get the same feeling as I use to. I think it's because I worry about it stretching my clitoral hood and whatever else is around. This feeling of it being un-attractive down there makes me not want to do it. I don't know if I could ever get off again because I don't know if it's me insecurity that stops me from enjoying myself. My boy-friend says I am fine but no matter what I can't get over the look. And I also don't know if I desensitized myself as well. I used a vibrater and a shower head and nothing works. My clit I think is also too small.

So is this normal? Can I ever achieve an orgasm again? I can feel sensations but they don't go far. Is that it? Do I need to get surgery to make the skin around the clitoris younger so I can feel touch to the nerve endings.

I am really concerned. Please write back.

Have you tried the diet?

Hi Sensualityoversexuality,

My guess is Marrena will need more information to help you. First of all why are you worried about how your vagina/clitoris, etc look? Is there some reason to feel you are different than other women or not attractive to men? I'd say if your boy friend likes the way you look that is what really matters (assuming he is being honest). You shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed of your female anatomy though - you should embrace it - and of course nobody is perfect. Also, why do you feel the skin around the clitoris needs to be younger? Are you very old, or have you experienced something to cause nerve damage? For what it's worth I have heard there is vaginal rejuvenation surgery but I think that is more related to tightening your vagina so that you have a better fit with your lover as you may be stretched out from multiple vaginal births. But I don't see how that could necessarily increase clitoral nerve sensitivity. From what I know of Marrena's diet though I'd say you should be on it as it does help increase your sensitivity, drive, and desire. Perhaps the gyneflex exercises could help rejuvenate your vagina and assist in retraining your brain to all the nerves in that area.

So in the meantime while you wait for Marrena's response I'd say get the diet and read up on it. Take the fish oil and supplments. Seems to me it could only help you. But try and not be down on yourself. Certainly your boy friend loves you and feels you are beautiful the way you are.

PS: If you have real concerns about your female anatomy or possible nerve damage I'd say contact your Dr / gynecologist.

Try an Eroscillator or a Hitachi Magic Wand before you give up on vibrators.

My diet may help bring back clitoral sensitivity. Definitely do NOT get surgery!

I suspect it might be a hormonal issue, have you had your testosterone tested?

quote:

Originally posted by Bonaparte:
Have you tried the diet?

No but boy do I look forward to it. It is on the top of my list of things to do/bye.

quote:

Originally posted by Oh!!:
Hi Sensualityoversexuality,

My guess is Marrena will need more information to help you. First of all why are you worried about how your vagina/clitoris, etc look? Is there some reason to feel you are different than other women or not attractive to men? I'd say if your boy friend likes the way you look that is what really matters (assuming he is being honest). You shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed of your female anatomy though - you should embrace it - and of course nobody is perfect. Also, why do you feel the skin around the clitoris needs to be younger? Are you very old, or have you experienced something to cause nerve damage? For what it's worth I have heard there is vaginal rejuvenation surgery but I think that is more related to tightening your vagina so that you have a better fit with your lover as you may be stretched out from multiple vaginal births. But I don't see how that could necessarily increase clitoral nerve sensitivity. From what I know of Marrena's diet though I'd say you should be on it as it does help increase your sensitivity, drive, and desire. Perhaps the gyneflex exercises could help rejuvenate your vagina and assist in retraining your brain to all the nerves in that area.

So in the meantime while you wait for Marrena's response I'd say get the diet and read up on it. Take the fish oil and supplments. Seems to me it could only help you. But try and not be down on yourself. Certainly your boy friend loves you and feels you are beautiful the way you are.

PS: If you have real concerns about your female anatomy or possible nerve damage I'd say contact your Dr / gynecologist.

Well my boy-friend tells me it's beautiful but I am thick headed and I need to love it. I am only 22 which is why I feel even worse about it. It's not dark but there is just too much extra skin and I think it gets in the way of my pleasure. I don't THINK I have nerve damage. I still feel ticklish spots but not enough to get me there. I have heard about that vaginal rejuvination. Do you know how much it might be?

Thank you so much for your responce. It really did make me feel better. For some reason hearing it from a woman rather than a man makes me feel better. So thank you so much.

quote:

Originally posted by Marrena:
Try an Eroscillator or a Hitachi Magic Wand before you give up on vibrators.

My diet may help bring back clitoral sensitivity. Definitely do NOT get surgery!

I suspect it might be a hormonal issue, have you had your testosterone tested?

I have never taken the testosterone test. I guess I'll look into it. I don't have that sort of money. I am no longer on my parents insurence. Can I get it done from a public clinic? Thanks Mareana, I will look into what you have meantioned.

Oh, if you are 22 I doubt very much it is a hormonal issue. Try a good, plug-in-the-wall vibrator and see what happens.

...but should I still be taken the fish oil? Will it just give me more libido than I already have. I feel I don't have enough.

If your last orgasm was before you entered puberty, you are basically at the Clitoral Orgasms 101 stage I talk about in my book. Sure, my diet will help libido, but concentrate first on simply having an orgasm.

Please do get the book, it explains all this. It's only eight bucks used on amazon!

hmm I should research that. Thank you.

sensualityoversexuality-
Don't be embarrassed! It's perfectly normal to have experimented in that way at a relatively young age, and even though no one talks about it, women do actually masturbate and young girls do catch on that certain things feel good, even if they don't understand what it is they're doing - just like men & boys. You're 22, so now is a perfect time to learn more about your body, sexuality, female sexuality, masturbation, how you personally orgasm, etc.
Honestly, I seriously doubt you did nerve damage from that kind of activity as a child. You're not getting the same feeling because it was 11 years ago, and you and your body have changed in the intervening years, plus honestly if you're stressed or self-conscious it's going to be hard to be turned on.
Have you tried the vibrator more than once? You need to really relax, be totally comfortable with yourself and what you're doing, find something that turns you on (erotica, a video, a website, fantasizing, whatever) and just explore. Don't be so focused on achieving orgasm - that will come eventually, but the goal is just to figure out what feels good, what doesn't, etc - don't stress about not "achieving" an orgasm, because it will probably be counterproductive. The sections of the book that I think you should focus on are the relaxing bath exercise on pages 30-31 (paperback version) and the chapter on Clitoral Orgasms 101. Of course, you should read the whole thing, and maybe some of the books Marrena references, and try the diet (I haven't yet, so I can't vouch for it personally), but seriously - you're 22 - this is actually very common as far as I know.
Good luck!
-Steph

This is the most helpful advice I have heard yet. Thank you. I will get that book first thing tomorrow.

Ps I asked my boy-friend if he would get me the hitochi magic wand for christmas. lol I let him know it was good for him too. I think he is considering it. If he doesn't get it though, I will.