I've just joined this site and am desperate to find a solution to my problem. I seem to have a very low sex drive, and the problem has got worse over the past few months, though I loved sex as a teenager and in my early-mis 20s. I'm 31 years old, have have a fairly healthy diet, and walk about half an hour a day.

I met my partner nearly 2 years ago and to begin with we were having sex all the time. It wasn't the best sex I'd ever had but at least it was frequent and I was having orgasms. I went on the birth control pill soon after we met and felt that it was stopping me wanting and enjoying sex, so I changed the brand, which seemed to make a difference. However, the problem came back so I tried changing brands again, which again did help for a while but not for long. 2 months ago I came off the pill entirely but it hasn't helped.

I'm now at the point where I'm extremely frustrated. I have sex with my partner because I don't want to upset him, but I feel jealous that he enjoys it so much when I don't. I've tried buying sex toys which have helped me have more orgasms but there is still the problem where I just don't feel like it or get turned on that much.

I think this is a problem not just with my current partner but with past partners too. The only time I've had really incredible sex was with a partner when I was 21, and I wish things could be like that again. What's really upsetting me is that I've been having doubts about whether or not my partner is the right one for me, because of these problems. I find him physically attractive, we're good friends and very affectionate and love each other, but without the good sex I feel something is missing. We're planning to stay together long term, so it's something we really need to sort out.

I was wondering if other women have had this problem - everything seems to be perfect but they still don't want to have sex with their partner. And if so, have they found a solution? I've just bought the Orgasmic Diet book in this hope it will help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

My diet should fix you right up. Also give yourself time to get over the effects of hormonal birth control. The primary thing my diet does is give women sexual desire, so give it six weeks (four weeks at the full dose) and report back! Let me know how it goes.

Hi Marrena, thanks for replying so promptly. I'll certainly give it a go and let you know what the results are, I'm really looking forward to the book arriving so I can get started!

How long might it take for hormonal birth control effects to diminish?

I'm certainly no expert on this, but listening to women sometimes it takes several months for all of the effects of hormonal birth control to go away.