Hi Zaneblue,
I have several questions for you regarding achieving a better sex life. Currently I am unaible to have orgasms through intercourse. I have just ordered a gyneflex and am already following your diet. I hope to be able to have spontaneous orgasms at some point. I used to be able to have multiple clitoral and vaginal orgasms with my rabbit pearl but got rid of it as I was worried it was disensitizing me. Now it takes me forever to have one orgasm orally with my boyfiend. Often, I just give up trying midway because I just feel like it's not going to happen or I lose interest. It takes me so long that I don't even masturbate any more. Often, I just have sex so my guy can get off. I still enjoy it but somehow keep feeling dissatisfied. Do you think that I should make a point of always coming first? I love my guy and he is a very sweet and concerned lover but sometimes I feel resentful that he is having 5-6 orgasms for every 1 that I have. I know that I need to start exercising my pc musles but it just seemed like I used to come so easily and so quickly even with out a vibrator. Now I rarely feel very horny and sex just seems like a huge ordeal. I should mention that I have been diagnosed with Chronic Fatige and Fibromyalgia and am taking Lexapro and Wellbutrin as well as Yasmin birth control. I know these medications could be affecting my sex drive but I was taking them back when I was multiply orgasmic (only I was taking prozac instead of Lexapro and a much higher dose.) Interestingly, I have dreams where I have spontaneous multiple orgasms. You mention that the coital alignment technique helps. What is this technique? Also, any tips on how to make my guy last longer? I usually just start getting into intercourse right around when he comes.
Sorry for so many questions and many thanks.

Wow sorry to hear that. Your sex drive suffers heavily from the stress and medications. You have to fight the Fibro and CFS. I just have by me my friend who suffered from Fibro, IBS and other things and got rid of them.



Here's what he tells you :

Hi there! There's alot of do to fight the Fibro. I beleive your doctors won't help you much since they didn't help me and alot of other people. First what you need to do is to go to http://www.askwaltstollmd.com/ and search the archives on your condition. It's a massive archive with thousands of very good posts and tips on how to fight it. The only way to fight it is to give your body the best regimen you can and it will regenerate itself. It took me about 10 months to get rid of all my conditions ( I also had IBS, GERD, CFS and alot of others ). Give yourself time on reading the archives. Really sit down and read it everyday atleast for a week or two. You'll learn what you need to do starting with diet to ways how to alpha relax your hypothalamus to give it space to shake off the stress-effect storage so it can work atleast on 95% again.
Beleive me a correct regimen is the only way to get rid of it. If you want to help your symptoms you can buy GUAIFENESIN but it only treats you and doesn't cures you. Wish you good luck in your fight. Bye....

For what you say about your partner lasting longer. I found an interesting technique covered in a ebook from Mantak Chia about a "big draw". I tried it during masturbation and it worked like magic. Drawing the urge to ejaculate from penis to the head. Have to try it in bed because maybe this way I can really enjoy every second of sex when I want to last long. The problem with lasting long with men is that after some of thrusting you stop really enjoying it like in the beginning and you only try to keep your erection to satisfy your partner. And after your partner is done then you start really getting into it. Male multiorgasm abillity should help this alot.

You have a long way to go as a couple. Wish good luck

I would say it's almost certainly the medications that are impacting your libido, even though you were on medications before. Wellbutrin is typically good for libido, but Lexapro does tend to dampen things. Is there any chance you could cut back on the Lexapro under your doctor's supervision?

You say you are already on my diet. May I ask exactly how much EPA and DHA you are taking a day? And if you don't mind, how much you weigh? Having the right fish oil dosage may help you decrease the Lexapro.

You may also want to try a different form of birth control. Double barrier method--condoms and a diaphragm--is pretty safe when done correctly, and may also have the benefit of slowing down your partner's orgasm.

Men typically do have five or six orgasms to our one clitoral orgasm; let your own body set the pace. That's the nice thing about having the additional ability to have vaginal orgasms; it allows pleasure and fulfillment the times when you don't feel like having a clitoral orgasm during sex. But certainly tell your man about tantra, as Caio mentions.

A temporary workaround to make the sex more fun for you is to have him wear a vibrating cock ring. Avoid vibrations during masturbation, but during sex, why not?

The coital alignment technique is a particularly sex position that heavily stimulates the clitoris. It's the missionary position with the man riding high, so his shaft rubs up against your clitoris. The movements are small and grinding.

I am taking 4000 mgs of fish oil a day with 180 mgs EPA and 120 mgs DHA per tablet. I weigh 116 lbs.
Do you think the Yasmin is dampening my libido?

In responce to Caio how does a man become multiply orgasmic?

By stoping the muscle spasms which lead to the ejaculation. This can be either done by using the PC muscle or by the "big draw" technique which is actually a relax technique that can prevent the muscles responsible for ejaculation from going into the spasms.

The most correct technique should be the "big draw". Using muscles seems quite inferior.

Men can also use reverse Kegels to stop ejaculation.

The birth control may be affecting your libido.

You also aren't quite on my diet. Try getting a more concentrated brand of fish oil, GNC carries a brand with double the EPA and DHA per capsule. For your weight I would try for 1200 mg per day of EPA and 800 mg per day of DHA. Right now you are only getting 720/480 per day

Hi Zaneblue,
First I wanted to thank you for all of your feedback. It is so great to have someone to talk to about this stuff.
I am going to discuss going off the lexapro with my doctor. Also, I will get a better fish oil.
Thanks also to Caio for all of your input.
I was wondering if knowing where the g-spot is would help in having multiple orgasms and orgasms via penetration. Do you know where it is located?
Also, I am beginning to wonder if I really know the difference between a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral one. Are clitoral ones less intense?

The g-spot is about two inches or so in on the front wall of the vagina. It feels a little different than the surrounding area, a little ridgy.

Vaginal orgasms and clitoral orgasms do feel different. Women often describe clitoral orgasms as being sharper and more focused, and vaginal orgasms being deeper and more full-body.

What about the "deep spot" ?? Worked really great ...


http://www.fastseduction.com/shade/2001-09-19a.shtml

That's more typically known as the cul de sac, also known as the CDS.

That spot is naturally hit by the penis during sex (if the man is long enough), so usually techniques aren't needed.

My diet will certainly help with the ability to have CDS orgasms.

I was wondering if you could let me know what the best books on Tantric sex are.

Mantak Chia's books are good for men looking to develop multiple orgasm capability, but I think he takes it too far. It's not healthy to stop ejaculating altogether. Men should ejaculate at least once every two weeks for prostate health, better once a week.

For couples, Margo Anand's books are good.

Hi Zaneblue,
I wanted to let you know that I am coming off the Lexapro as you suggested and have noticed a marked improvement in my sexual arousal and sensitivity to stimulation. I am now able to orgasm in a quarter of the time that it took me on Lexapro. I have also started on a higher dose of EPA and DHA. However, I still have not had an orgasm via penetration.

Vaginal orgasm ability requires the muscle toning part of my diet. Without strong PC muscles, the diet will only increase libido and speed up clitoral orgasms. You said you got the gyneflex, are you working out with it? Also what level are you on?