Hello Zane...dont know were to start in asking this question,but i am a 23 year old female...ive only had two sexual partners and both of the experiences were bad, see both partners went limp about 10 minutes into intercourse , now foreplay will go great and everything will seem "promising"..but every time we get going it comes to abrubt stop, now im starting to think that theres something wrong with me, now i can have an orgasm w/a vibrator or oral, but when it comes to vaginal... ..im starting to get a lil concerned about it......what wrongs???????

This message has been edited. Last edited by: jalenemarie,

Sex is trickier than it looks.

Most women your age don't have the ability to have vaginal orgasms. If you like you can work on it, going on my diet, but you should do it for fun, not out of obligation. You are perfectly normal.

The thing with the men is happening more and more lately from what I've heard. Haven't run into that personally, but it's partly due to the fact that men, while being the hardier sex, are also dealing with the same lifestyle issues that impact female libido. But the real culprit is that most men are watching lots and lots of porn. Not that I have anything against porn, but it can cause men to masturbate a lot more than their bodies would normally prompt them to, because porn is so extremely stimulating. If you have sex with a guy who is used to jerking off twice a day to gonzo porn, he has conditioned himself to

a.) be used to the tighter, faster, and totally customized sensation of his hand
b.) blown off any orgasmic steam by overmasturbation
c.) gotten used to the intense stimulus of porn, which is filled with a never-ending variety of young nubile women (not that you aren't young and nubile), but also extreme close-up shots of genitalia and whatnot and
d.) no performance pressure whatsoever. It generally is easier for people to orgasm when they are alone because of the lack of performance anxiety.

Put all those things together and it means it's no surprise you happened to end up with two guys who have done this to themselves. Don't blame yourself, it's common.

Just my luck right ..but what im concerned about is that, i dont feel any stimulation either..even if im not all that wet, theirs a little friction.. .but not much...i get a better "response" from him using his hands (fingers) or oral, then his penis...so do you suggest that i try your diet...and what about the gyneflex???? do you think it has anything to do with tightness???

It's perfectly normal to find oral or manual stimulation of your clitoris more sexually stimulating than actual intercourse, particularly if you can only have clitoral orgasms. Makes sense. There's a tricky position you can use, the coital alignment technique, that will stimulate your clitoris more during sex, but it's pretty advanced and your partners are having problems with the basics.

There's a difference between not feeling all that sexually stimulated and not actually feeling the penis inside you. If that's the case it might be that you are naturally a little looser down there (or you might have been with men who were a little low on girth). In that case, sure the Gyneflex will help tighten things up so you can feel more during sex, but won't necessarily lead to vaginal orgasms unless you do the other things on the diet, although it might.

Hello I'm new to the group. Reading the book and loving it. I wanted to suggest here that also if her man is not really hard she wont feel much either. I'm having this problem myself. My husband is never hard like I would like him to be and as a result I have to squeeze and strain to get a vaginal orgasm. And many times it's one of those small awkward ones that I get.
Just sharing my observations

Marrena,
Most men jalenemarie's age will have an orgasm and go limp after about 10 minutes. Nothing abnormal there but from her point of view it would end up being a bad experience.
Steve

I assumed she meant that the men lost their erections, not that they ejaculated and lost their erections. Of course the latter is perfectly normal!