I just posted this technique in answer to a woman's question about having an orgasm during sex:

I'm assuming you are talking about clitoral orgasms. Vaginal orgasms, in my opinion, are much, much easier to have during sex. I believe they are less connected up with feelings of trust in women, but I may be wrong about that. In any case, having two types of orgasmic ability improves the odds of having an orgasm during sex. For vaginal orgasms, see my diet.

For clitoral orgasms it's about technique. However it is important to have a partner who is patient, understanding, motivated, and doesn't put you under pressure, a tricky mix. On your end, the best thing you can do is changing your masturbation technique. If you use a vibrator, throw it out. Experiment with a variety of masturbation techniques. Try to go slower and lighter, change the position of your body. Cut way back on the frequency of masturbation while simultaneously doing things to increase your own arousal, like reading erotica.

In a relationship, work your way up slowly. For the first time, use a vibrator (in this situation only). Use it during a session of mutual masturbation, without touching each other, just to get yourself comfortable with having an orgasm with a man in the room. Sometimes watching an erotic movie helps to get the focus off of you. Shut your eyes and fantasize. Also if you abstain from masturbating at other times during this part of the process it will help build up orgasmic steam.

After getting comfortable with having an orgasm with him in the room, then stop using the vibrator and use your hands. Once you get comfortable using your hands, then let him use the vibrator on you--but in the context of masturbating each other, not during an interlude that ends up in intercourse. Once you get comfortable with that, then show him exactly how to do the easiest way for you to orgasm with manual stimulation.

Again, through all of this process, cut back on the number of orgasms you are having. I generally recommend one-seventh of your typical orgasm rate.

http://www.hisandherhealth.com/cgi-bin/ubb_newshe/ultim...1;t=002529;p=0&r=nfx

I have found that the "doggie style" rear entry of vaginal sex is the most sexually stimulating and orgasmic sex that there is. This is with me with my rear end up to him for foreplay before the sexual act. We do many, many positions and my husband goes mad about it. The eye appeal and sexual positioning are such a turn on. Orgasms come very frequently and reaching the G-Spot is so easy. Your thoughts on this?

I'm a tantric gal myself--I like yab yum, where the woman sits cross-legged on the man's lap and there is very little movement.

Where can one learn tantric sex techniques? Are there any books or DVDs you'd recommend?

Margo Anand's Sexual Ecstasy is a good introduction.